What Really Happened When Making The Epic Family Plan
It is a momentous event to get all of us to sit down together. We have an adult son who rents a room with us and comes and goes; only alerting us after he makes his various spontaneous plans. So catching him on the property is a rare thing. All of us have strong opinions. Perhaps the two most opinionated are Matt and I, so being united before bringing in the offspring is of upmost importance. Once we agree, there must still be room for each of our children to express their ideas or concerns. So Matt and I spent a few days tossing around ideas.
What should we talk to them about first?
Are they ready to explore the scary what ifs? Is there a way we can make a plan for this without sounding dire?
What should be our meeting place? Why there? What are the pros and cons to that? Is it a safe enough distance?
How much should we cover in that first meeting?
So we made a tentative plan and called "The Meeting" we didn't give the younger ones warning because frankly, they just get all worked up.
We began with Being Observant.
Too often we see our kids stroll up to the house with their head down, ears plugged with beats booming in their ears, lost in their thoughts. So we discussed observing the cars around the street near the house. Looking at the door of the house to notice if it is open or shut? Does the frame look normal or destroyed? Depending on what you see; is it safe or possibly not safe to enter?
In short we discussed the importance of observing then assessing or evaluating a scene. This is an intuition building skill.
We discussed what to do if the door is ajar and the frame looks broken-always get out and go to neighbors to call police. ALWAYS! so what if the have been there already today and Mom/Dad are actually fine inside, doesn't matter, don't chance that, call the police!
If you find a parent unconscious on the floor and stuff knocked down all over or a lot of blood, for example if there was a home invasion - be quiet and get out, go to neighbors and call police immediately.
Or, if you find a parent unconscious, like they took a serious fall, but everything else looks fine call 911 while in the house. Yea, we went there.
Matt and I, on occasion, have been known to go out on dates... I know, its weird for married couples... heh heh... Our kids are a little older and we do not hire an outside sitter. So we had to cover what would you do if we were in a horrible car accident? Who do you call?
This led to our "Who is your Circle of Strength?" conversation. A circle of strength will be those contacts who you can count on to drop what they are doing and meet you in your need during an emergency. For most people this would be a list of mostly family close by, followed by close family friends. However, for some locations, like ours, there are many transplant families whose closest relatives are hours away. So we start with those closest to our house that we KNOW we can trust and we work our way out growing the circle bigger and bigger until we get to our closest relative. We are blessed to count 5 families we know would help in a time of our need, not to mention an incredible local congregation of our church.
Please note it is of upmost importance that your children have access to the names and numbers of their circle of strength at all times AND that your relatives have those numbers as well.
A full list of where and how to contact each family member at work or school should be included as well.
Finally we began discussing what to do if there is a FIRE.
In April of 1972, we lost my grandparents to a fire in their Brownstone. I was nearly 6yrs old and the memory of that morning and the days that followed are seared forever in my mind. A little over 30 years later, my younger brother would experience a total loss in an apartment fire. At least 1 in every 4 homes will experience some damage to fire. So having a plan on how to handle a home fire is of upmost importance.
I interviewed my brother for this blog. We have discussed the fire his neighbor set that destroyed everything he owned but never in this detail. Let me tell you now, that my brother is one of the most brilliant people I know. He is in the science field, has worked for NASA and other cool agencies. He said, "The first thing you need to sort out in your head is the fight or flight dilemma. If there is enough smoke to fill a room or a hallway that is a fire you are not going to win and you WILL need to flee."
For him, there was the immediate annoyance of being rudely awakened in the night by a loud alarm. Followed by the surge of adrenaline as soon as he opened the apartment door and saw the smoke filled hallway. He got out with his cat but in the excitement, he left some essentials that he now keeps together whenever he turns in for the night.
The most important piece of information from our conversation came next,
me: What was the most surprising thing about witnessing the fire for you?
my brother: How long it took for them to actually begin FIGHTING the fire. It was over an hour!
Why? Because when dealing with a home fire, the first priority of all firefighters is evacuation! Then they can begin fighting the fire!
Prompt Evacuation may actually save your property faster!
Finding a meeting place was difficult for us because we have a large piece of property. We finally agreed on a place that is easy to get to, far enough away to be safe, but easy to watch for someone coming toward them from the house.
Finally, we discussed:
- evacuation routes for each family member.
- the importance of staying low to the ground where smoke is not as thick
- closing the door to the room where you will open the window to climb out
- if you need to open a door, test the knob first for heat
- if you catch on fire... Stop, drop and roll!
There are two great sites I explored on dealing with home fires:
3 keys to fighting a home fire I got from these sites:
- Consider the needy in your home before you decide to fight a fire
- Know what kind of fire you are dealing with before you decide to fight
- Always fight a fire with your back to an escape route
I would add this, regularly test the safety of your escape route. Is the deck you are going to climb out on safe? Can the railing hold you or is it in need of repair on the side of your apartment building or Brownstone?
So from our first meeting here is our POA(Plan of Action) list:
- Update contact info and give to our children and circle of strength members
- Include numbers of employment and schools in that list
- Update smoke/fire alarms and fire extinguishers
- Train kids on various fire extinguishers and their proper use
- Always know where keys, cell phones, wallets/purses and evacuation binder is and keep them in known locations
- schedule a practice evacuation and time it!
Let us know what you think!
The Marshall Clan